Thursday, December 4, 2014

You Could Shine

I'm feeling the writing bug again tonight.  Before I get started, I would like to request that if you like any of this stuff, you know, you can subscribe.  Just sayin'.

Anyhoo.  As I'm slingin' words tonight, the first thing I'd like to say is Go Cowboys!  I've been a fan since '89... having to listen to games on the radio since they were so awful that year.  Watching them grow and win Super Bowls over the next few years was just something any kid or teenager at the time did in Texas.  If you're not a fan, hey I get it. That's just where I come from.

But that's just an aside.  As a freewrite fan, and someone who enjoys randomness, stream of consciousness blogging is just what I do.  What you are reading is simply transmissions directly from brain to keyboard, and I hope it is good.  There are no topics on my mind right now, it's all just a free flowing sort of thing.

Earlier, I saw an amusing country music video of some guy singing about Hillary Clinton.  It was incredibly shallow and stupid.  Had that song come on during my drive home in really slow traffic, I would have desperately hunted for Christmas music sung by atheists, or perhaps rap music made by apprehensive Mormons.

Just now, I got to thinking about Larry King.  He has a Twitter page, @kingsthings, where he does exactly what I'm doing now, but in 140 character increments.  He's got some really amazing and random pithy thoughts, and I think he uses the format quite well.  Twitter's a weird place.  You start out with The Onion, or maybe Mind Blowing Facts, or '60's Spider Man, and then they retweet a bunch of unrelated stuff, that leads to other related stuff, and you end up with a bizarre Twitter feed.  Such is technology.  It moves fast, you move fast.

On a more serious note, I feel like I'm holding back in ways. I should be pedal to the metal in life but I feel all this hesitation.  Buying a new car was pretty motivating I must admit... but it seems like I'm still stuck in limbo in other areas.  It's like I can't get out of the corner or ahead.  I suppose this is natural, especially being at the age it's important to preserve the things that keep the wheel spinning, but I feel like it's time to stand up and find some kind of way to start kicking ass.

I don't know exactly how to do that, and hopefully I'm not repeating older blog entries here, but I've got to do something ballsy before I'm too complacent to get it right.  I've already outlived some really cool people, and I've been passed up and have slipped on the banana in the MarioKart of life more than once.  What do I gotta do to stand up like a statue and get all Terminator 2 on some shit?

Anyway, philosophical questions for a philosophical life.  I feel weak. Too cautious.  Too apprehensive at every crossroads.  Afraid of being ballsy in a stupid way.  When you're 37, you have to get it right more often than not.  And in some ways I've done pretty well... the big picture as I see it could be better though.

Much is out of my control.  As it goes with anyone.  I guess what I'm leaving you with is the hope I carry around in those few tiny excellent moments... there's a shot at something that doesn't suck the life out of you.  Just be crazy enough, or slick enough, or lucky enough, or yourself enough to find that one talent or quirk you have inside to flip it all upside down.  You could shine.  So could I.  Where's the dang flashlight?

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