Fudge

I had to bury my dog yesterday and it sucked.

He seemed like he was recovering but it was not the case. I was wrong.  We all were. Yesterday after Grace got home, he seemed okay.  That was the thing.  He was wagging his tail and had some life in him, but he was still in pain. So Jamie sent me to the store to pick up some more gas pills along with a few groceries.

I was already upset because he wasn't in the best of health and he needed some medicine.

Once I got there, i had to move quickly and get to the pharmacy to get things paid for and back home fairly quickly... but them Jamie called and she was bawling.  She told me that he had died.

There are a few moments in life that things just jar your soul, and this was one of them.  I broke into a cold sweat and just listened.  Fudge was gone.

I paid for the groceries and my medicine at the pharmacy.  I had to put his medicine back as it wasn't needed. That was a really ugly feeling to have to experience.  Then when I got back out to the truck I realized I had to fill up at the gas station.  I was just flat out angry, upset, and pissed at everything around me. It was a coping mechanism, not just for Fudge, but other areas of my attitude as well.

When I got home, the first thing I did was greet Grace to hug her. She was bawling, and so was Jamie.  I went to hug her too.

It isn't every day you lose a pet.  Especially an adorable one with such personality.  Kevin, my brother in law found him at first, and he just came up to him, charming as ever, wagging his tail and looking for a bit of food and companionship.

Soon after we took him home.  There were very few times that tail wasn't wagging.  Anyhow, t was Grace who named him.  I came up with name ideas like Duke and DJ Dog, but she was 2, and said Fudge.  And it stuck.  Since then Grace has been the namer of pets. She named Flower and Skittles when she was 5, in early 2013.

Fudge was also a strong little guy.  Put a leash on him and go to the park, he would be the one walking you. 

He had a thing for varmints too, which was pretty awesome.  If there was a rabbit or squirrel, he was on it! He would also howl along with Flower in happiness when we got home sometimes. 

But back to yesterday.

When Jamie called to say he had died, I felt a feeling that only happens a few times in life. It was massive and really sad... and as a guy that's one of the worst experiences we have to go through, because when we are shocked and hurt and upset, we still have to keep things together.

After the initial shock I had to see him for myself. It's comforting in a way to know that Jamie and Grace were here to be there for him as he passed, because he needed that.  When I got home, it was too late though.  His tongue was sticking out.

In lieu of tears at that moment, I had to mourn by digging his grave.Which I'm not in shape so much, but still.  The ground wasn't friendly.  Once it was ready though, we were all on the same page.  We buried him in his favorite blanket and with a tennis ball, because he was the first dog I ever had who played fetch. And the first dog I ever had for a lifetime... who passed as my dog.

We always gave away pets before because things changed enough to where we couldn't keep them. Those times were heartbreaking, but this was terrible.  Fudge was Grace's first pet. He was also the only companion dog that Flower ever had. He was there when Flower came here as a puppy.

Love your pets, they're family.

Love your family too, they're just as beloved to you as you are to them.  When the clock runs out, all you have is memories.

The MC Paperclip Podcast

Hey Everybody!  After just over a year, I'm back on the blog. There's much to catch up on!

I'm going to start out with the podcast announcement.

Over the last several months, I've been making plans to set up the home studio in order to record new music.  There are a few projects in the works such as the new 10,000 Lakes album and the new Dr. Tissue album.  These have been on the back burner for a while, so I decided to get some of the technical matters sorted out ahead of time. The first two items were the mixer and the recording software.  These are now both set up, but there is still quite a bit of testing and rehearsal to work out before laying down full songs. 

Once the cables and cords were counted and sorted out, I started to revisit another side project that has been on the back burner for a few years, actually: a 10,000 Lakes rarities compilation album. I had several songs in mind that were recorded as either unused bonus tracks, album tracks that didn't make the cut, and a few on the spot songs that didn't fit other categories.  There were a few live songs made in 1997 that I wanted to include, but I couldn't find the tape.

This is where things took a bizarre turn.  I started looking for this mystery tape.  The search went on and on through various tapes.  I hooked up my sweet Sony Dual Tape Deck to the mixer, got a couple of the rarities songs transferred to mp3, and began to go through these older recordings. Folks, there's a giant pile of tapes in my house.  And I've been going through them to cull out blanks, old mixtapes, and other various audio.

I still haven't found it.  But, I've found some gems.  Copies of albums made by and with friends, some spoken word stuff, and some generally random unused stuff. 

This is what it looks like in here right now.

This is roughy 10-15% of the tapes I've reviewed and labeled (if they weren't already.)

Eventually this processed developed into a need to archive all the tape recordings and do something with them.  So sometime last night, the MC Paperclip Podcast was born. 

The general theme of it, so far, is to highlight these recordings as well as create something new and equally weird. It began with this tape:

So that's Episode 1.  A brief intro, and then side 1 of this tape.

If you'd like to check it out and or subscribe, the official home of the podcast is here:

https://mcpaperclip.podbean.com/

Episodes will also be on my SoundCloud page:

https://soundcloud.com/mcpaperclip

There may be a Facebook page for the show coming soon. Stay tuned!