Friday, December 18, 2015

You live and learn. At any rate, you live. - Douglas Adams

It's been almost a couple months since I posted anything, and for good reason, which you'll soon read about.  Last time I wrote, I was 10 days past getting fired for no reason from my previous job. 

The irony of that day will always live in my mind, and perhaps at some point, I can do something creative with it. It was payday, and I went into work like any other day.  That morning, I got my checkstub by email, and a nice bonus was attached.  Later that morning, as I picked up a batch of new files to work, I took a look at the chart listing how many files each person worked the previous day.  It wasn't a bad place for a rookie, which was kind of nice.

Fast forward to 5 pm. Keep in mind my boss was on vacation from that day till the end of the week. I got an email from the assistant to my boss to see her once i was done working the current file.  I was waiting on an email for info, so I went over there.

She told me to come with her, and I followed her to the conference room where we had training just a couple days before. There was the assistant attorney there, let's call him Scott, and he had a look on his face like whatever was about to happen was something he wanted no part of. And when I got dropped off there, he fired me.  No reason, no explanation, not privy to that information.   I said "That sucks!" and got my shit and got out of there.

The next several weeks were terrible.  Things were going on with certain people anyway which I don't discuss here, really badly, and have been ever since.  Every job lead I got, every interview, turned out to be nothing.  One was for a lender whose close-kept doc preppers were my former company, and that obviously didn't happen.  I had another interview at a place I once worked for and also knew a lot of people.  There was a big wait on that... and eventually it didn't work out.

But in time, I found an opportunity.  After weeks of failed chances, sorting out backup plans, worries from everyone around me, there was a glint of hope.  But then there was a snag.  We had a plumbing clog that flooded parts of the house, and I had to manage it immediately.  It went down on a Sunday night, and the next day I was supposed to start at my job, but they ran into a problem, the company that let me go refused to give proper information to the new company I was getting on with. 

It was a horrible feeling.  People I love and care for had been through the wringer, each with a host of overwhelming problems.  Here I was, supposed to embark on a new journey, but that Monday morning, I was also overwhelmed. No plumbing, no water, no bathroom, no shower, and getting told I would have to reapply in six months, to something I already had.

But it worked out.  My in-laws came over and we got the clog fixed.  I did umpteen loads of laundry after the mini-flood, and with an extra push on the folks who let me go, they provided the necessary info to the new company.  And I started there last week.

I feel my sense of purpose and smarts coming back there.  It's a blessing to feel helpful, like I can freely use my talents and be confident.

It has taken about a week just to get used to the idea that I have purpose again and can actually help people out and do great at something once again.  With everything I've experienced this year,  it's been difficult at times.

Being unemployed and trying to find something new is no vacation.  It caused quite a bit of distress, and I fell into a deep depression.  Not only because of the rejection of getting fired, but everything else that went bad over the last several months.  All the various hardships compounded into a much more awful thing.  Many of the things I could have done around the house didn't get done.  My hopes and dreams seemed to be running away from me... one barrier led to another barrier, and the moment the burden dropped for good, I didn't even realize it until days later.

So here I am today, not broken by all this, but deeply moved by it.  The toilets flush, the bathtubs work, I've been welcomed into a very professional, proactive, and positive workplace, many of the worries I have with family have been solved, and for some reason, I'm actually confident to a degree, and I now have a serious instinct to be level-headed and ahead of anything challenging.

My sentences should be shorter, and I should probably lay off all the commas.  But that is the least of my worries.  Whatever those worries might be.  I've been working, and I'm tired. And that is OK.


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