It's good to catch up again. I know it's only been a month or so since the last entry, but I feel like it's important to write. I've been kind of on the shy side with it for a while. Maybe that's my own perception, but regardless, it's time for me to pick it up a little bit and get the ball rolling once again.
I'm currently in a place where everything is happening around me at a rapid pace, but here at home it's snailville. One view of it says life is passing me by, the other view of it says I'm stable and patient in a world of news and chaos. What to do?
Expression by writing is in order. There is some good news to report. Grace's arm is fully healed up, and she got her cast removed last week. Her arm is still a little bit stiff from being in a cast for six weeks, but that is ok. She's got another week or so of getting back to normal, and then after that she will be just fine. She's sticking to her art and creativity quite well. She made a "dinosaur" out of the cardboard part of a toilet paper roll, 2 googly eyes, a green marker, and some pipe cleaners. She's always creative, and she has a desk in the front room now for her art and projects. All the supplies are there.
More good news about Mom. She's getting closer to getting past this cancer thing, hopefully for good. Her surgery, masectomy, and reconstruction went well, and now she has completed two out of six chemotherapy treatments. The first one was really hard on her. Her hair started falling out soon after and she was pretty sad about it. A lot was going through her mind and it really sapped her energy. The second one, not so much. In medical circles the first one is always the hardest, and it gradually gets easier from there. She has her second one not too long ago, and after a tough couple days, she recovered much quicker. She is still easily exhausted at some times, but she is able to spend more time with Grace.
There are four more chemo treatments to go, and I hope they keep getting easier. She will be done with them in January, thank God for that. The way I look at that is, she's 1/3 done with chemo, and has done all the surgery. And she's cancer free.
On a completely different note, yet cancer related, I heard today that my cousin lost his battle with Leukemia and its complications last night. I think he's my oldest cousin, a mere 51 or 52, but I didn't even know he was sick. He was diagnosed with leukemia about five years ago. He went through some different treatments to combat it and after a rough bout with it, survived and the cancer went into remission. He's got a wife and young kids in their 20s... they're having to do this without him now. He has been called to heaven, but everyone else is still here on Earth.
I can tell you a little bit about him. He was a super guy. Someone you could always be comfortable around, because he always remained positive. He always passed around good vibes and kindness. And he was confident. That kindness and confidence that came to him naturally, is obvious when you see it's passed on to his wife and kids. Pray for his family, and keep them in mind, like you keep your family in mind.
People are important. Whether you're stuck in some sort of autopilot mode, or whether you're going through a horrible time no one could possibly relate with, or whether you're riding the stars and can't believe how great everything is going, you are important.
It's sometimes difficult to realize your own worth, or how you fit into the whole scheme of things. I feel awkward about this myself quite often. I'm not the best when it comes to striking up a conversation or being outgoing or anything, but deep down, I am curious about people. I have met and spent time with people over the years and have made several friends. Some things I don't care about so much, like opinions or shallow things. No one really likes to be pigeonholed, they just want to pay their bills and get somewhere in life and navigate this time on Earth. Well, most people. Some just set blow everything up around them for the hell of it. But not very many.
We're all getting through this thing called life and it's the challenging and heartbreaking stuff that does two things: 1) it keeps us from realizing that we matter to the people around us, and 2) keeps us from our purpose.
The challenging and heartbreaking stuff also makes us who we are. It's that perception thing. It can 1) show us how we matter to the people around us, and 2) show us our purpose.
I'm curious about people and instead of being direct about it, I'm a little more reserved. Getting to know someone is easier when there is something you have in common, something to share. Understanding others is a gentle venture towards friendship.
Almost everyone I know personally has experienced some serious trauma in life and is learning how to deal with it. Or has learned how to deal with it and is trying to teach me something.
People are important, we are all important as individuals, so we have to share not only our best with others, but our worst. Best friends do this frequently because our best friends take us for who we are at any time. I think when we are at our worst there is someone hoping we become our best.
I got a little philosophical there, but that's the point. You and me, we're remembered, by more loved ones than either of us can think of at the moment. You matter. I matter. That person you're thinking about that you haven't talked to in five years matters.
