Tuesday, November 25, 2014

A Goosin'

Disclaimer: There are some names and locations I'm going to modify or omit.  If you'd like to fill them in for the purposes of imagination, please feel free to put that shoe on and lace it up!

Ever feel like you're in a place in life where you just can't move?  Like you're trapped? Or at least, stuck in a routine?  My routine lately has consisted of the everyday stuff, even down to what to get for breakfast and when (a breakfast quesadilla at 8:40 am), when to expect every call, an allotted time to worry about what could be an impending layoff (which didn't even happen.) And, of course, other things to expect right on schedule, such as bills, parking spots, moving desks at work, family events, everything!

So, just a few short weeks ago, a family member who lives nearby asked Jamie this: "If we move several hundred miles away, would you follow us to be close by?"  (This is where that names and locations thing comes in by the way.) Another family member of ours once remarked to me months, maybe over a year ago, that if we packed up and moved, that we would be followed to that location. 

So, it got into my mind that if we moved to this wherever place where the jobs were or whatnot, we'd have company no matter where it was.  But for someone to ask us if we'd do the same, I didn't answer.  It was a secret "I hope so." Then it became "I've thought about this before kinda." Then, I quit putting quotation marks around my thoughts and actually thought deeply about this.

Two days later, I'd done enough scoping around online to get a feel of the area, possible places to move, the logistics of making such a move and what the costs would be.  Just to get away from the routine areas of life. 

I happened upon a job opportunity in this area.  Now, what I do for a living has talents that are generally concentrated in D/FW, California, Illinois, Pennsylvania, and Florida, among a few other metro areas.  But I found one there and applied for it, just for kicks and giggles.  Jamie's career specialty is also concentrated in certain cities as well, and the place we were looking at isn't known for that.  So that was another exercise in imagination research.

That job application got me thinking deeply. 

I thought of all the changes it would require, the possibility of Jamie and I living in two different places temporarily, the expenses.  I decided after relative boredom in the nuts and bolts of life, it was time to get sharp.  Just thinking about all this, the possibility, the peril, the opportunity, it gave me a goosin' deep down. 

So I went to bed the night I applied... fell asleep fairly quickly, but I was up at 2:30 after a fitful sleep.  It all just showed up at once.  I was like, "What if you don't get a call back from this company and all this deep thought about relocating was for nothing?"  Didn't get much sleep that night. 

Something had stirred up inside that I could no longer ignore. I don't know if it's because I've been "climbing the ladder" in life in order to stay afloat for so many years, or if I've just been stuck in a mindset overall for a long time.  We all get older, and we all get stuck in some routine and lose sight of something good that may come around that would be good.  As I get older I've realized that the more you get used to life, the less you have a chance to grow.

Life finally goosed me.  I have been driving a P.O.S. truck for over three years.  Don't get me wrong, it's been good to me, but it's been an all consuming A to B disaster since 2011. Since I've been thinking about this relocation challenge and what it could mean, the upcoming challenge of the old truck came up front and center.  How could I move far away and stat putting down roots for us in a new place with something unreliable?  It didn't make sense.

The next step was realizing it was time to get a new way to go.  Jamie heard about this dealership about 35 miles away that had a lot of used cars, so I decided to check it out.  After looking thru used cars together for hours we showed up.

Through a whirlwind of searching, trading, compromise, discussion, life stories, a rainy day test drive, getting the hell out of town, air conditioning, heaters, and deliberation even on the way, we found a vehicle.

It was surreal. But it's becoming real now.  The old truck is gone, and now I am driving something new, you've probably seen it.  It was needed.  We just bought it Saturday, and I had to get new brakes on it.  The dealership detailed it and all, but I still had to get a bit done on it.  But it got done right. 

There's a lot of happiness here about it.  It's a miracle.  But it is also a part of life.  Life's hard. It is a challenge.  I had to work in Houston away from home for a month at a time.  Had to fight fraud over the phone in freezing weather outside.  Had to take a few for the team, bullshit scenarios where I had to sneak out.

We get put in the corner for a reason, not for our benefit or demise, but to wake us up. I'm awake, and I'm in the outfield, and punching the glove.

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