Imagination

I've always been a very creative person, so I thought it might be a good idea to share the imaginative perspective I have as someone who likes to create. Music, stories, jokes, it's always a major part of my everyday life.  I have a very imaginative mind, and in a way it's like people with Restless Leg Syndrome have to shake that leg. (I get that from time to time, but I always just put it on some fast music to work that out.)

In a lot of ways, my mind does its own thing.  I think a lot, for work, about life, in creative ventures.  So a great deal of my ideas are involuntary, and just sort of show up.  It's also like fishing, when I get a good one, I hang on to it, and if it's not such a good one, I just throw it back in the lake.

The other side of having an imagination is it can lead to unnecessary worry.  If I'm not careful, I'll think up some scenario that's negative, and all of a sudden it just plays out in my mind (sometimes to extreme degrees.)  I liken this to some of the scenarios in movies that actually give them a really thick plot. 

Someone once told me, "No what ifs." What that meant was to make sure to not let the creative part of your mind do whatever it wanted to, because it could.  I thought about this for a while and it helped me to get some sort of guidelines for my imaginative side.

Fast forward to today.  I am still trying to tame the negative scenarios I let play out in my mind, while experiencing the thrill ride of random fun and thoughtful ideas that show up a few times a day. 

So, I guess what I am trying to say is the next step is organizing and recording the good stuff.  As a certified smartass, I can expect no less of an attitude from the imagination within.  Many of my ideas happen as I'm driving, or am busy with other things, or in the middle of the night.  

Perhaps that is the conundrum, one side of the brain is really active, and it takes some of the attention away from the other side. The imaginative side is on full throttle, while the logical, organized side is just kind of sitting there.  It would be really nice to be able to organize and bring some order to all the interesting stuff happening on the other side of my mind.

I Know It's Been A Long Time Since I Rapped At Ya

But it's been busy at work and in a lot of other areas of life.  I feel bad for not posting for three full weeks, so here goes.  Friday was, umm, interesting. 

Grace has been getting up a little early these last few weeks and she's dressing herself, and ready even before I am.  Pretty impressive.. only a couple of months I've really had to make extensive effort to wake her up.  At one point I even told her I was going to get an air horn so she would for sure wake up and get dressed, so we wouldn't be late.  Friday was one of those great days where she was ready to go before I was.

We had enough time to walk to school (we're only a block away or so cutting through the park,) and as always we had an intellectually stimulating conversation along the way.  Friday, I think we talked about her upcoming field day, and how complicated math gets.  (The night before I showed her my Calculus book from college.) Then she asked me what grade I was in when I took that class.  Then I explained college... I should have just said "14th."

So I walked back to the house after dropping her off and noticed from a few houses down something looked a little off on the truck.  As I got closer, I realized it was a flat tire.  Not a low tire, it was flat.  The inflator didn't do a thing for it.  I looked a little closer and realized how bad it was; the tread on the inner part was exposing the inner wire stuff.  So I needed to get the spare and slap it on and get to work.

But... I drive a 99 Ranger and the spare was underneath the truck, held on by a system that required the original jack to access it and lower it to put it on.  After semi-frantically looking for the original jack (which was long gone, because how much stuff do you have from the 90's still around, especially car stuff?) I decided I need a new one anyway.  I was surprised that I didn't have one right there, but then I realized after all the previous truck work, the jack was probably somewhere else. 

Next thought - there's an Auto Zone about 8 blocks away.  I texted my boss to let him know I'm gonna see if I could make it happen and then come on in or let him know.  I texted Jamie to tell her that I had truck issues so she wouldn't wonder why I wasn't replying to an email she might have sent to me at work.  By that time I was there and quickly got the jack and headed home.

No bueno.  The crank from the jack didn't work to let the spare down, so I let the boss know what was up.  He sent a teammate out to pick me up, and I decided to let the tire wait till Saturday morning.  There was work to do.

So one of my teammates came by to pick me up for work, and we rode back in.  Another teammate of mine texted him saying I messed up my tire just so I could ride in her "cop car."  I do have some real characters on my team!

So we got in and walked up to the office and I realized that my badge was where I kept it so I wouldn't forget it.  In the truck.

This began a new adventure.  So the security guy at the front desk laid out the rules.  He's a super nice guy, by the way, but his job is to go by the book.  It used to be you showed your driver's license and a teammate could vouch for you. Not anymore.  He explained he'd need my license and to call my boss to vouch.  No biggie, I thought... but.  From the 2nd floor mezzanine the guy that brought me to work announced to us that every manager in our site was in a meeting in the building across the parking lot. 

Security Guy told me he needed someone with some authority to escort me as a Visitor.  Luckily, Guy Who Brought Me To Work found someone with enough office cred to get me by.  Security guy took my picture and printed me a pass, and said "I know you, you're a good guy. But they're making it where it's a really bad idea to forget your badge."  After some appreciation, the Office Cred Lady came to let me through the door.  Our next step was to find the admin who could set up a temporary badge so I could get in and out.  You know, for pretend smoke breaks or whatnot. 

So we went to find the admin... and ten minutes later found out she was working from home that day.  We went back to her office and she started pinging other people who might be able to help.  During the search I got a text from the boss asking where I was.  So I told him I was still working out the badge thing.  Next thing I know, Office Cred Lady had a hookup for the badge thing.  She put a name and location down on a post-it, and then got into her desk and broke out a Reese's peanut butter cup, gave me a serious look while she handed it to me, and said, "Be appreciative."

So I eventually find the Badge Lady, and she cheerfully said "You must be Mitch!"  So I introduced myself and told her what happened, and she gave me instructions for when the badge would be activated and who to bring it to at the end of the day.

She was pretty happy about her Reese's, and I hustled for the rest of the day to catch up.   But it was all good.  Everything got lined up at work, I found a new tire on sale the next morning, and was reminded of how to prepare for the next day from some really cool people at work. 

Yo Mama Dental Floss System - Surround Sound

New album y'all!!!

So the idea hit me just a few days ago to take some previous recordings, add some new things, and call it an album.  So here it is! 

Dance your butts off and laugh your butts off, cuz that's what this is all about!

Shortline Monday again! (vol 3)

So I've shared some 10,000 Lakes stuff lately and want to broaden the experience just a bit. A few years ago in the internet I got wind of a musician from Denton who went by the name of Fishboy.  And the songs I heard were a lot of fun.  Like other shortline projects and my own music, his songs had sort of a homemade feel, a surreal lyrical flavor, and a depth of creative ideas.  The first album of his I ever got was called Little D, and it was songs about Denton.  Soon after I discovered his music, he came out with Albatross.  Jamie and I went to a show in early 2008 to see Albatross performed in its entirety, along with the band Poison Control Center from Iowa.  They were badass as well.  And before them was Teenage Cool Kids, also from Denton; they were wrapping up a tour with Fishboy and the PCC, and the singer's voice was almost gone.  He said he could use a cough drop or some Chloraseptic. And when you finish a tour in January, I can totally see that.  Wish I had somethin' for that guy.  The first singer in the show was one Sparlin Jessels, who sang really heartfelt songs, and broke a string.  It was an amazing show.

So later after the show in that freezing night in 2008, I picked up some more music and felt creative again.  It was later I discovered an older album by Fishboy, called Zipbangboom.  It had a few songs on it from other areas of the internet so I bought it off iTunes.  And that's the album I want to share with you tonight.  It's on Bandcamp for a listen but it can be yours too if you want.

Before I post it all, the thing that put the pieces together for me was when I picked up Little D.  I realized his last name was Michener.  Sounded familiar to me, but it hit me that his older brother Dirk was at the Beck concert back in '96, and also was in Cavedweller, and jammed with an old buddy of mine, T Bobcat.  I thought that was incredibly cool.  (The Beck show and soon-after interactions and times were pretty awesome too, but that's another blog.) 

So, for tonight, I present Zipbangboom, an album that takes you places.  It starts with a disappointing and/or unusual Christmas, then you meet an interesting mover on a busy day, find your way through a dream you may have had, to a dream someone else did have.  Then an apology with precious wordplay. You get to meet the tallest President, experience daily routines like never before, and try to prevent an assassination with help from a robot cousin. By this time, you feel like you've had a long day, but you've still got to fix a car and fall in love. By that time you're so tired you're asking questions with the last of your energy.  So now a little bit of instrumental refreshment... which leads to being able to hear everything anyone says whether you like it or not.  And then there's a song still in your head from earlier... and it sounds different now.

So without further ado:

Shortline Monday! (Vol. 2 of Shortline Sunday)

Yesterday was a really busy day, and Easter, and all of that stuff.  So, here I am this evening making up for it with post #2 of crazy music madness!  Tonight's entry is of the most recent album I have released.  It was supposed to be a full album, but what happened was a song would get done here, another one would get worked on there... not 100% coherent.

See, all the previous 10,000 Lakes albums were done on tape.  One of the main themes of a 10,000 Lakes album was the idea that something could be recorded fairly quickly, ranging from one night with all the instruments, lyrics, and a tape recorder, to a more laid back approach, and completion over a month or two.

This one was done over a three year period, and not by analog means.  The early versions of some of these songs came about in '05, and the last recording was done in '08.  I was involved with a podcast at the time, as well as producing and recording rap music.  So I had gotten comfortable with recording higher quality music, and doing other creative things.

After waiting for so long and realizing that this project should stand on its own, I finally put together the 6th 10,000 Lakes release, "Pots, Pans, and Ceiling Fans.  And here it is:



Here's a bit of description of each song:

1. Metropolis - this song, along with Hairbrush and Discount Biscuits, was done all in one evening session in '06 or '07.  The idea was to create a full album, but these three songs were all I ended up with.  It was a good start, including randomness and irony.

2. Hairbrush - In the 3-song session, I wanted to make the most surreal song possible given the musical style.  And of course, add some power chords.  On "Cat Hospital" I had mentioned a fictional Carlos Santana song called "Hairbrush," so I made it into a real song. 

3. Fishtank Mountain - By song 3 or 4 on all of the previous 10,000 Lakes albums, there was a folksy song, or a ballad.  This song fit into that category.  I also had become a very big fan of Wesley Willis by this time.  His signature style was to repeat the song title four times as the chorus, and end the song with an advertising slogan.  I only used the first half.  It ended up being the most popular song I've ever made.  Here's the live in-studio version:



4. Discount Biscuits - Wrote the lyrics to this song at work.  That's where the lunch menu stuff comes in.  I wanted to do an all-keyboard and vocals song in the style of "Tablecloth" from "Cat Hospital," and "Rough Noisy Bowl '82" from "Minnesota Hat 1982."

5. Pots, Pans, and Ceiling Fans - This was the second song I recorded for the new album.  It was recorded in a snap session in '05 along with a song called "Brisketron" which was not included in the album.  It had to be re-recorded several times using the keyboard solo from the original mix, to sound just right.  The idea behind the song was hidden meanings and ridiculous puns.  The first lines are a riff on an Audioslave song.  It then delves into wordplay, jokes about instructions on household products, and of course some funky guitar stuff.

6. Squeegee In Hand, Windshield Far Away - recorded in 2008, this was the eventual cap on the whole album.  It was a bit of a style-copy of "Mambo #4" in the long-song, jam-band sort of recording.  The title came from, of all things, the MySpace page of one of my other projects, Dr. Tissue.  On MySpace, if you had a band page, you could fill in a tour schedule complete with location, time, date, other bands, the name of the show, etc.  So it was a perfect opportunity to come up with ridiculous band names, festivals, venues, and prices.  For example, a festival in Antarctica at 5 a.m. that costs $79,000, featuring Dave and The Robot Arm of Classic Rock, and 9000 Mermaids With Tambourines.  Anyway, one of the "band names" was Squeegee In Hand, Windshield Far Away.  So that's how that happened.

The Big Bad Bank Teller

Here's an amusing story I once wrote, about the Big Bad Wolf and the bank teller who one-upped his 'tude. 

The Big Bad Bank Teller

I’m not the villain I used to be.  The times were once good for me, and the art was simple.  Just be bad.  They’d say, “Be as bad as you wanna be.  The good guy always wins.”  So, I figured, the badder, the better.  I knew my role.  But that was a long time ago. 

            Today is Wednesday, two days before I have to make payroll.  It starts to rain outside, so I rush into the Fifteenth National Bank on Hargrove Avenue, (celebrities have to keep things discreet,) so I can deposit my latest royalty check from DreamWorks.  “Should be no big deal,” I tell myself.  I’ve got payroll set up and checks already pre-written to my crew for Friday.  My check is burning in my grip – it’s a big one, and I don’t feel comfortable having it exposed.  Not that I can’t defend myself, I’m just not in the mood for that all the time.

            The line is long for some reason. I mean it’s 10:30 a.m. and a thoughtful person would expect either quicker service or fewer customers, especially at a bank that isn’t even trying to be the biggest kid on the block.  So I wait.  I look over at the tellers and who they’re serving.  There’s a real fruit loop of a lady chatting with this one teller who looks like that nutty guy from Anchorman.  They’re chatting away about her mortgage as if they’re talking about a wild spring break in Cancun.  Then, one spot over, there’s this poor sap trying to get away without filling out another form.  The teller he’s stuck with looks like she reads her training manual to her kids every night.  I’m hoping I can skip over her.  Over to the right, there’s this Troy Aikman-looking guy with a jug full of change.  He’s going to be a while, and his teller has this toothpaste-commercial smile like Saddam Hussein could ask her out and she’d say “Certainly, sir!”

            Anyway, after fifteen minutes of shuffling around in line, I’m up next.  Troy Aikman’s still giving his teller the Coinstar treatment, and my check is still bothering me.  I’m getting antsy, so I look over it again to make sure my signature is perfect and the account number is correct.  While I’m reading, I hear, “Next please.”

            It’s the training manual lady.  Great.  I walk up and explain to her that I need to deposit my $48,000 check.  Simple enough, right?  Nope.

“Sir, I need two forms of identification and your thumbprint for a deposit of this size,” she says.  I cringe. 

I fire back with, “I’m Big.  I’m Bad.  I’m a Wolf.  What more do you need?”

“As I said, sir, two forms of ID and your thumbprint.”

“Does it look like I have thumbs?  No.  I’m a WOLF!”

I sling my driver’s license on the ledge, and as I hunt for my credit card, I notice her nametag says “Katrina Bedlam.”  Oh, there’s a real pleasure.  I hand over my credit card, and she walks off.  Right then, the toothpaste lady calls her next customer.  Forty-five seconds later and I would have had it easy.  I guess the bad guy never wins, even if he’s trying to make financial transactions.

            She comes back. 

“Funds will be available in seven business days minimum.”  Yeah, there’s good news.  So I explain it in simple terms.

“Are you kidding?  I need this by Friday!”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Wolf. We need to verify these funds are available from the other bank,” she says.  I glance at her, and the only emotion she shows is a slightly noticeable smirk.  It fades away in seconds.

I tell her, “Hello!  It says ‘DreamWorks’ right on the top!  I think it’s a good check!” 

Swimming in frustration, I start regretting my role in the Shrek movies.  I thought it would be fun to play along and do something different in movies, but I question myself sometimes.  As I ponder… she says:

“My, what a big attitude you have!”

Oh hell no.  Now it’s back to business.  I think fast.  I’m going to have to undo the deposit and drive two hours to cash this check at DreamWorks’ bank.

“Listen, just cancel the deposit.  I gotta pay my crew.”

She gets this hoity-toity look and hands it over.  Finally, the end of this nightmare.  I flick her the middle claw and high-tail it out of there.  While I walk past, the security guy in the corner gives me the evil eye.  I realize my whole day is wasted because of this mess.  The check still bothers me since it’s worth so much money.  I grip it tight, and as I walk out of there, I think to myself, “If I’d been younger I could have huffed and puffed and blown this standalone banking center down.”

Weird Wednesday

OK. I heard the audio to this on Russ Martin this afternoon, and seeing it finished off quite a Wednesday.  After hurrying this morning, blasting Slayer on the way to work, arguing with someone who really had problems getting something figured out for someone, making a super quick lunch trip to Wal-Mart (broke a time record with this one,) seeing baby geese by the pond, getting ahead of the game at work, and somehow getting around severe traffic with no issues this afternoon, I come home to look up this video.  Life's exciting and unpredictable.  This goat's pretty predictable though.